4 Dogs, a Couple and a House to Clean
My Life as a Sitcom
Did you ever watch that show, Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place? My life is kind of like that show. Except, instead of a Pizza Place, there is a house to clean. Oh, and instead of two guys and a girl, it’s 4 dogs and a couple. That’s still the same, right? Basically, if my life was a sitcom it would last 4 episodes rather than 4 season… unless it got picked up by OCDtv, then it might have a chance. Is publishing a blog mentioning OCDtv enough to earn royalty rights if someone makes this type of TV channel in the future?
The Nitty Gritty
So let’s talk about cleaning. It sucks, right? You must understand that I am not a fan of cleaning. I have never been someone who finds it therapeutic or cathartic. Sometimes, I envy people who do like to clean. Almost, mostly I wonder whats wrong with those people. I blame my parents. Before I really can remember, my parents were divorced but if they had stayed together we definitely would have had the cleanest house on the block. My mother was the type of person that thought regular, weekly dusting, should involve a Q-tip and proper mopping actually involved mopping 3 times. While my father is a man that wanted to see perfectly straight lines on the carpet to confirm the room had been properly vacuumed. Clearly, both of them liked things clean. So although I despise cleaning, I’m pretty good at it.
Thank God for my clean- freak-neurotic parents! Yes, I blame them in one paragraph and thank them in the next. Get over it. They distilled a great hatred and loathing of cleaning but it is because of them that I know how to do it! Cleaning is essential when you have 4 dogs living under one roof. There is no such thing as a clean house when you live with 4 dogs. You are either cleaning or need to clean. Don’t believe me? Let’s look at the facts…
Fur has taken over the house. (Failed TV Show Idea #2: If the pilot for 4 Dogs, a Couple and a House to Clean does not take off, we can try Furrier Things, it will be like the Netflix series, Stranger Things, but instead of the upside down we will have the fur-side up) This is two days after we vacuumed and mopped. This is just what I swept up in the living room. ONE room! TWO Days! This is enough fur to make a small dog!
Did I mention that Paul is allergic to dog dander? We normally sweep or vacuum once a day or once every other day. We mop weekly, unless its raining all week. What’s the point if they will track in mud the moment we get someone to go out to pee? Occasionally, I will also spot-mop because Nala drinks by sticking her whole nose into the water bowl and then tracks half of the water she attempted to drink across the floor.
The picture to the left (or maybe above if you are reading this on mobile) is a rubber broom that we got at The Container Store. They sell similar ones (cheaper) on Amazon here. This thing is AMAZING! I love using it to get under the couches, rather than moving furniture every week. Who does that? Furniture moving should be reserved for Spring Cleaning only, in my opinion. Anyway, if you have dogs and any type of non-carpeted flooring, you NEED a rubber broom. It also works great at getting the fur out of your upholstery in the car, just use the squeegee side!
You cannot clean a room while a dog is in the room. Whether your dog is attempting to attack the vacuum or just stands up and shakes when you finish vacuuming a room, we all know that it is very difficult to clean while the dogs are home. When we return from vacation, I often set the pick up time as the afternoon of the following day. This allows us to clean in the morning before we go get the pack. What? Is cleaning the house not the way you prefer to end your vacations?
To the right is a picture of the pack looking oh-so-sad on cleaning day. Nala is in the back left, soaking up the sunshine. Hammy is the front left, moping while she watches mommy mopping. Tucker is front and center but avoiding the camera and Oso is to the right in the background looking to see if there are any crumbs to be found around the table. On this particular day, I was sectioning off rooms as I vacuumed and then mopped. Slowly, I cornered the dogs into the dining room and kitchen area (where their water bowls are) before letting them run in the back yard while I finished the floors in these areas too.
If adorable, sad faces had any cleaning powers, I would never need to clean again. In my reality, Fact #1 arose two days after this picture was captured. Essentially, the rest of the house was clean when this picture was taken, but only because the dogs had been barricaded outside the clean areas.
Clean laundry will be infected by dog hair as soon as it leaves the dryer. Nala loves clean laundry, as you can see. Why wouldn’t she? It’s soft and it smells nice! I like to joke with friends that dog hair is an accessory to my outfits and I prefer to refer to it as Pitbull Sparkles! The photo to the left is the exact reason why. I had set a clean pile of laundry on our bed to fold. In the middle of folding I had been sidetracked and left the room momentarily. Upon return, I found a Nala cuddled up with the clean laundry. This was less than 5 minutes! I admit, I get sidetracked often… more than most, even, but 5 minutes? Fold laundry immediately or be furry!
Please note: folded, clean laundry will be un-folded if left where Nala can cuddle up with it. Nala must dig to make a comfy nest. In addition, there is no such thing as a dog-proof-made-bed when Nala is around. She will make it cozy and comfy to her preferred specifications, whether you like it or not!
Fact or Fiction?
When someone tells me they are considering adding a dog to their home, whether it is the 2nd or the 8th, I like to ask them questions to make sure they have thoroughly thought this through. You may think I am exaggerating, but I want to assure you this is all fact with a hint of sarcasm to make things more palpable. Although it is important to consider all responsibilities that come with owning/rescuing a dog, I want to be clear that I would not give up these dogs for the world! If you told me I would never have to clean, EVER AGAIN, but I could only keep one dog, you should expect to hear a four letter word followed by “off.” Dogs may turn out to be the only thing I’m lovingly willing to clean for (sorry Paul.)
What’s your fur factor?
How many fur children do you have in your home? What are your cleaning habits and obstacles?!Posted on: October 30, 2017, by : Kara